You can feel your disappoint pool in the extremities of your body first. You feel heavier these days, and not just physically. You want to cry or hit something, but you're an adult so you just go on with your half-smiles, hearing yourself make small talk with others without being sure of what you're saying. You tried for something that you didn't quite achieve, you think that this is just another dull trinket to add to your string of failures. Everyone around you has things you wish you had. You want a dog. You want a child. You want a house. You want to move forward in your career. You want to make more money. You picture yourself in this life of wants. You close your eyes for a second to take it all in.
You are setting the scene for Thanksgiving at an actual table. This you is perfectly in control and always in demand. Your clothes are nicer. Your hair is cut. You are thinner. There are always fresh flowers in a vase somewhere nearby. You imagine that you are happier. But a friend of yours once warned you that the minute you achieve something, the focus shifts to the next goal. You don't even grant yourself the courtesy of a minute to appreciate what you have succeeded in creating so far. You're only focused on the brighter stuff of the future.
So I challenge you to this:
Take your imaginary table settings and toss the load of them to the ground. Take the glossy imaginary magazine you thought you'd work at by now, and throw it into the recycling bin. The kids, the dogs, the clothes, they can wait. Go meet the person who has loved you for over a decade and catch a movie. Remember to look up at the stars tonight, even if the city lights obscure them. Travel to the market with your makeshift family this weekend and get some soul food to set up on your existing scratched up coffee table. Call your parents and tell them you love them. Prepare to celebrate the blissful events that lie ahead for your closest friends in the upcoming weeks. Be thankful, truly thankful, for the this life of yours that you have. As it is, not as it could be. Can you do that for me? Can you at least try?