Back to the Future: Scattered Thoughts on Parenthood

I've been bad at posting this week.  I've neglected my blog baby.  I'm a bad mother.  There, I said it.

Speaking of motherhood, I'm someone who daydreams about the distant future as if it's arriving here tomorrow.  Daydream would be the polite word for it. Let's just say that I sometime idly sit on the streetcar running through the combinations of first and middle names for the children that I might have at some point in my thirties or forties (real children, not blog babies) .  I might look cool and composed in my faded red seat but inside my head I'm doing this:

Clementine Grace, Alexis Georgia, Vivian Audrey, Violet Marguerite, Thomas Elijah...and so on until I exhaust myself. Why?  I don't really understand it myself.  Perhaps it's just my biological clock going slightly bonkers, or maybe I just really, truly like the process of giving everything and everyone a name.  Whereas my boyfriend is of the mindset that you need to meet the miniature person first, before choosing their name. 

I sometimes wonder how many other late twenty-somethings who are trying to jet-start their careers and pay off their students loans spend their days trying to anticipate a more settled future like I do? As if plotting out all the details with furious prescision will make it manifest before their very eyes.

Perhaps the most sensible (gosh, I hate that word) thing to do instead, is simply to work towards the things you want, but always with the awareness that life might have a different plan for you entirely.  That maybe the only Clementines I'll know are the ones that I set aside in my fruit bowl, the only spirited Violets I'll encounter will be in my garden.

Photo Credit: anamericaninrome. com                                          Oh my darling, oh my darling, Oh my darling Clementine!
None the less,  the one thing I am doing now that's a little less tiresome then my public transport naming game is actually holding on to a few keepsake items.  Mostly, so that in case I do have children, I can paint the past  for them using some interesting props:

Perhaps the queen of quirky Zooey Deschanel will sound as foreign to my kids as Mary Tyler Moore did to me?

So here's my list of "keepers" for those yet-to-be-born kiddos:

1-Photo Albums (yes little ones, these existed before Tumblr, Instagram, and all digital albums in general)
2-My She & Him Volume 3 CD (all my truly nostalgic 90's CDs were given away to the Salvation Army,  so I'm cheating on this one because it's new...but still)
3-My old journals and agendas (see kiddlets, back in the day we wrote with good old fashioned pen and paper when we weren't typing on our computers, tablets, or texting incessantly)
4-A pair of jeans with a slight bell-bottom flair, my cloche hat, my 40's inspired peacoat (in order to explain to them how fashion is just a bit of history forever being recycled)
5-My Sex & The City DVD collection (instead of having the bird and the bees chat, I'll find a bygone DVD player and just hit play...joking)
6-A few classic paperbacks and cookbooks (so they can experience the bygone sensation of flipping a page)
7-The few pieces of art I have or might accumulate (who knows what kind of interactive hologram stuff will exist in the future)
8-Letters in the mail (even though this is already kind of a dying art, I have a whole box of cherished cards and correspondences)
9-My old passports (who knows, we might have our travel identities microchipped in our arms at that point)
10-Their dad's drawings (because I can't think of a better way to explain to them how a man of few words could express so much love by simply sketching me a lemon tree, or a field of buds)

But there I go again...trying to peg down my future in all its minute details...I think I'll quit while I'm ahead for now and go give my parents a hug today, for the things they saved for me, for the colourful stories they told me about the past and most importantly,  for the common courtesy of not naming me Clementine Violet Shenouda. 

PS. Happy Father's Day to all you amazing pops out there, including my own!