As I sip on my green tea (for health, not pleasure), which is a shoddy replacement for a second cup of coffee, I can't help but think about change these days. Blame it on a long winter if you must but I've been searching for some type of transformation for a while now. I just can't put my finger on what it is that I need to do in order to jump start this new phase of my otherwise dull life.
We all dream of an existence for ourselves in which we are at our happiest, our most creative, our healthiest - it's the landfill of our daydreams. Yet what do we do, or do not do, in order to achieve these things? This part has been weighing on my mind the most heavily. I often wonder how I would feel if everything I wanted just fell out of the sky into my lap. Would I even want it anymore?
Sometimes big changes (good or bad) happen to us without asking for them. We get transferred to another country for work, a loved one falls ill, a relationship starts to unravel before our eyes. Those types of changes seem to propel us into action or reaction very quickly. But what about the small changes that are within our reaching, or rather, reaping? What about the ten pounds we want to loose, or the communication problems we want to fix, or even the bob we so desperately want to sport despite the protests that it would make us look like a frazzled soccer mom? What about those things? A lot of people credit hard work and consistency for helping them realize the changes they needed to make in their lives. But how to start chipping away at the old block, when you're not quite sure what shape you want it to take? That's where I'm stuck.
Personally, I too often look outside of myself for the inspiration to change. I try to fuel myself with other people's success stories to get my own going, but that's something that really can't sustain me in the long run. Because at the end of the day, it's their lives and their reasons that worked for them. So now I have to ask myself, what are my reasons for change, and are they worth it?
What about you, readers? Have any of you ever felt like you needed a change but didn't know where to start?